Drunk Santa
by Kaiya Scarlette
Summary: Finland gets drunk at America's Christmas party, and forces everyone to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas.


America planned a Christmas party for the nations, so they could have a little fun before Christmas. Everything was festive with lots of Christmas decorations; dazzling lights, stockings with candy canes and a Christmas tree too. He'd rented a sizable venue. He invited many of the countries, and now, most of them were still ambling through the door.

England stumbled through the house, mumbling to himself. He spotted Finland in his Santa suit; a lot of the nations had dressed based on the occasion. He yelled for Finland to come over. Confused, and slightly frightened, Finland made his way up to him.

"Well, hello there, chap. Come have a drink with me, I've always wanted to drink with Santa!" England's movements were wobbly and he leaned against the wall for support.

"Umm, are you feeling alright?" Finland replied with a nervous smile.

"O-of course! Come with me!" England grabbed Finland by his sleeve and pulled him over to the bar. Despite his current state, England manoeuvred quite well through the crowd.

_Where's Su-san when I need him_?

* * *

><p>England knocked the wooden table loudly to get the bartender's attention, "Bartender! Get this man a drink!"<p>

"Oh, no. I'm fine, no need for that," Finland waved his hands frantically as he gave another nervous smile.

Not taking no for an answer, England took the pint of beer from the bartender, who had just arrived and shoved it to the reluctant Finland's face.

"Hey, uhh, are you even 21? Is this legal?" The bartender seemed a little confused as to what was transpiring.

"Shut your mouth you damn mingebag, I'm older than your mum!" England replied with a lazy wiggling of his finger.

"N-No, you, sir, in the Santa suit," the bartender turned to Finland with a look that said, _"Should I call the police or…?"_

"_It's all… fine," _Finland responded with an expression that told the bartender he'd be alright.

* * *

><p>Italy skipped around the brightly lit room, searching for different foods, sampling almost everything. America had a bunch of different foods there; a chocolate fountain, eggnog, pizza and a multi-coloured cake, to name a few. He smiled as he noticed a group of countries, clustered in a corner, near the large, beautifully decorated Christmas tree. Italy realized Finland was in the centre, he seemed extremely cheery, sitting in a large red leather chair, laughing away. He happily approached Finland with his usual bright smile, but before he could greet him, he was pulled down on to Finland's lap.<p>

Finland's words were slightly slurred, "What do you want for Christmas?"

"Who are you?!" Italy panicked, caught off guard by the sudden pull.

"Santa, of course," Finland replied with a carefree smile, while ruffling Italy's hair.

"Seriously, I want Finland back, who are you?! You reek of beer!"

Totally ignoring Italy's question, Finland asked one more time while tilting his head.

"What do you want for Christmas?"

"Uhh, how about pasta?" Italy answered, just now becoming aware of the actual question.

"How surprising," Germany said as he neared the crowd, "What's going on here?"

"Oh, hey there, Captain! Finland was asking me what I wanted for Christmas," Italy seemingly forgot how strangely Finland was behaving. He got up out of Fin's lap and turned to Germany.

"Is that so?" Germany replied as he walked closer. Japan followed behind, with a slice of colorful cake, forced on to him by a happy America. He wasn't planning to eat it but he thought maybe Italy would. As soon as Germany was close enough, Finland dragged him down on to his lap. The countries that stood around them seemed used to this process and didn't make much of it.

"What do you want for Christmas, Germany?"

"Are you mad, man?!" Germany was surprised by this and tried struggling, Finland held him tightly as he urged Germany to tell him what he wanted. Japan watched in horror as someone as strong as Germany had to give in to Finland. The two were very different as it related to body size, but Finland was also ridiculously strong when he needed to be.

"Come on, tell me, and I'll let you go!"

Realising that he wouldn't be able to free himself, Germany calmed down and turned his head away as he answered.

"Fine. I want… to learn how to smile naturally."

Italy pitched in, rocking from side to side, "Nonsense, Germany, you can smile perfectly fine!"

Germany rose from Finland's lap and began walking away, slightly embarrassed, when he heard Japan's shouts.

"This is sexual harassment!" Japan flailed as he tried to escape from Finland's grip.

"Tell me what you want for Christmas!"

"I want you to let me go!"

Finland threw his hands up in the air, "Wish granted!"

Japan got up, muttering, _"I'll see you in court."_

"Tell your lawyer Merry Christmas for me!" Finland waved with a hiccup and a smile.

"Who's next?" He asked while patting his lap.

The nations now began to disperse from the spot. Finland noticed Russia had remained and shouted to him even though they were a couple feet apart.

"Hey! Come tell Santa what you want."

Slightly startled, Russia pointed his finger to his chest, "Me?"

Finland nodded his head, "Yeah, you!"

"Oh, well I want-"

"No, you have to be sitting on my lap!" Finland replied while patting his legs once more.

Russia walked over to Finland, hesitantly and awkwardly sat in his lap. While placing his arms over his scarf, he told Finland what he wanted.

"I… I'd really like to have a friend. That would be nice… America didn't even invite me to his party…"

"Why're you here then?"

"He doesn't know."

"Don't be sad, Santa will grant your wish!"

* * *

><p>Finland had gone mobile after sometime, forcing everyone that he could get, to sit on his lap and tell him what they wanted. He found it a little harder to remain stable as he walked around. He accidently bumped into Romano, who was surveying the table of foods with Spain nearby.<p>

"Watch it," Romano turned, slightly irritated.

"Hei, Romano. What do you want for Christmas?" Pulling up a chair from the table and sitting in it, Finland gave his lap a pat, signalling for Romano to sit.

"You're crazy," Romano replied while narrowing his eyes.

With an almighty pull, Romano was forced on to Finland's lap.

"What do you want for Christmas, Romano?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Romano threw uncoordinated punches at Finland, all of them missing by inches. For a drunk guy, Finland sure could dodge well.

"Just tell me and I'll let you go," Finland laughed a little while trying to get a hold of Romano's hands.

"Fine, I want the world's biggest pizza, now get your filthy hands off me."

"How surprising," Spain remarked as he saw Romano in his current position, "Of course you'd want food."

"Shut up, you bastard," Romano retorted, while getting up and brushing himself off.

While Spain was preoccupied with Romano, Finland grabbed him and pulled him down on his lap, without even getting up from his chair.

"What do you want for Christmas, Spain?"

"Hmm? This so sudden~" Spain smiled as he rubbed the back of his head and thought.

"So, like, you're okay with this?!" Romano replied, glaring at Spain, who seemed very contented.

"Oh, I know," Spain began, "I want Romano for Christmas!"

"No. I'm so done," Romano walked away as Spain chased after him.

* * *

><p>"Heyo, Finland," America had found Finland sitting in front of the Christmas tree, "How goes it?"<p>

"Hei, how are you?" Finland asked, completely flustered due to his alcohol intake.

"I'm good, how's the party so far? Totes amazing, am I right?"

"Oh, yah. Say, come sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas," Finland had his hands on his jaw, while he involuntarily swayed from side to side.

"How much did you drink?" America asked, spotting an empty beer bottle at the foot of the chair that Finland was sitting in.

"I lost count…"

"Who did this to you?"

"You mean, England?" Finland asked, glancing to the ceiling.

"Ugh, what's wrong with him?"

"Sit on my lap!"

Finland reached for America and pulled him down on to his lap. America didn't even bother fighting back.

"So… this is happening," America said, poker faced.

"What do you want for Christmas?" Finland asked while poking America's cheeks and smiling.

"Uhh, I don't know."

"Hamburgers it is."

"I never asked for that!"

"Okei, I think I can read minds."

"Dude, you're wasted. I'm gonna get England," America got up from Finland's lap and began looking for England.

* * *

><p>France happened to be walking by as he overheard Prussia proclaiming how "The Awesome Me," didn't need anything from Santa.<p>

"I've got everything I need, really."

"Okay!"

"…"

"So…"

"…"

"..."

"This is weird, see you later, I guess," Prussia stood up as France walked over to them.

"Oh, it seems as though Santa is granting wishes?" France smiled and blew a kiss in no specific direction.

Finland tapped both his legs as he continued, "Yes. Please sit down."

France sat down as Finland asked the usual question.

"By the way, have you been a good boy this year?" Finland grinned as he twisted the string at the end of his hat.

"You... can't prove anything."

"So, what do you want for Christmas, France?"

"Ah yes. Can you make England stop being such a jerk?"

"That is beyond my power."

"I see."

"I heard that, frog face," England shouted, accompanied by America who had a tight grip on his arm, "How can you say that with such straight faces?!"

"England!" Finland smiled brightly.

"Finland, heeey," England waved while greeting him.

"Come sit down and tell me what you want."

"Bloody hell, why not?" England would have fallen over, had it not been America holding him up.

"I can give you a number of reasons why you shouldn't," America replied.

The drunk England seemed way too eager, so America just let him go sit on Finland's lap.

"_This is weird__."_

"Get out of the way, frog!" England unceremoniously pushed France from Finland's lap and took his place instead. "Well, let me see, I'd like to meet Mr. Cumberbatch and-"

"Go home England, you're drunk!" said America. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

><p>Sweden had been searching for Finland for quite some time, when he stumbled upon England, sitting in Finland's lap, chattering away, while Finland beamed and nodded his head to everything he said. He walked up to Finland and stopped the conversation the two drunks were deeply involved in.<p>

"Finland?"

"Hey, Su, what do you want for Christmas?"

Sweden shrugged his shoulders. At this point, England was still talking about what he wanted for Christmas.

"Will you be m' w'fe?"

"I thought I already was?"

A smile contorted onto Sweden's once expressionless face.

"Wait, I didn't mean it like-… my stomach hurts."

"Let's go h'me."

The strangest thing that happened after this event (that Finland and England 'claim' to have no memory of) was that Italy received a bowl of pasta, Germany got a "How to Smile Naturally," book in the mail. Romano got a 132 ft. in diameter pizza made for him, for which he hysterically cried tears of joy (this gargantuan pizza made a new world record for largest pizza, breaking the old one by 1 ft.) A curious little dog made friends with Russia and America got a hamburger. England got to meet Benedict Cumberbatch, and the other countries got some of the things they wanted.

France: _"England is still a jerk though."_

* * *

><p><strong>I have no idea what drunk Finland would be like, that would be really interesting. All credit for this amazing idea comes from a Tumblr post by novegiya: "No but imagine APH Finland getting drunk in his Santa suit and forcing the other nations to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas" <strong>

**Someone thought it was a good idea to write a fanfiction based on it, so I tried it out. I hope you enjoyed it~ Pleaaaase, your reviews mean the world to me, it's why I write. Please leave a review ;-; PLEASE. Also, I'm terrible at naming stuff, so I might change the name of this story, later.**

**~Kaiya**


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